March 28, 2014

She is A Wallflower

Her name is Violet. She likes toast as she loves books. She often speaks with her own mind when she is in crowd. She gets bored easily, but she is really nice. Yes, she is a perfect girlfriend - something that she never knows.

She is invited in a lot of groups in social media. She hates notification knowing that people keep chatting, even for unimportant things. She is a silent reader. She is invisible. She is beautiful in her unnoticed behavior and being alone - something that she never knows.

She is asked to involve in various kinds of activities. She realizes that it's challenging to stay in places or meet people that honestly don't make her comfort or force her to be extroverted while she is pure introverted. She often runs and creates reasons to escape. She loves small groups, and speaks one to one. When she finally meets some friends that really connect to her, she can't stop talking, laughing, and becomes so loyal. She works behind the scene, she has brilliant ideas - something that she never knows.

"How about saying no?" - her heart is bleeding.

"Violet, we need you. Can you do this for us please?"

She should have said no. She gives up her mind and walks back on her desk.

Yes, she is a wallflower - something that she never knows.

March 26, 2014

Tribute of Togetherness

Wednesday, April 26.

Today was the last day of final examination in semester eight. It was terrifying accounting test that lost our appetite, oh God........ :'(

still... in front of this phenomenal background :p

But life should go on. After the test, we prepared our farewell party. This gathering was pioneered by the project given from our leadership lecturer. The party was held in 2nd floor of Bebek Kaleyo Bintaro. Of course I'm gonna miss all of them who has become my family, my classmate, and friends to learn, friends to laugh, friends to share. Thanks for this amazing one year, guys. Please forgive my ego. Everydays seems much easier because of you :)

saranghaeyooo :)

After having lunch and watching some performances, we exchanged the gifts and I got the mug. Happy! Then, everyone was given cute and funny award. They gave me award as Miss PHP (The girl of fake promise). It felt like................ LOL. It was the past, actually :p


The holiday has come. Yay, I can't wait to go home. See you again in the next path! :)

What is stronger than bones? Virtues. 

What is tighter than blood? Heart.

And what contains both of them? Friendship. It is you.

March 23, 2014


It takes big courage to keep walking on your own path. Some people come to whisper the words that haunt you and push you back. Dignity is about being responsible to every choice you have made and believing this is what you really need. It is the moment when I should be brave. I believe Allah guides me. It is the moment, the only moment...... when I just want to listen to my heart, my mom, and my dad.

Forget the haters 'cause somebody loves you.

March 19, 2014

The Story of March

It is a super long exciting month. The last two weeks of lecturing were deep-breathing. I used to manage myself in deadline and rush. I should applaud because being a last minute person was stressful, but the pressure made me addictive and easier to get the idea. Weird. I still have private student who trusts me. Teaching is heaven. And, I am happy with my classmates. Having a year together makes me feel like family and it's difficult to be separated. Especially for my sister and friend Ai who is so kind to me. Thank you, guys, thank you :(

me and ai :)

And Thank Allah, the final exam is coming. It means the holiday are waiting! It's almost 8 months that I don't go home. I really miss my parents, I miss my home.

March is full of tears and laughter. Worry and uncertainty are shaking my head every day. It seems there is at least a moment in a year like what happened last year that asks me to surrender to Allah with full of trust, and just wait for the answers. Sometimes we think it's impossible, it's sad, it's confusing, but what is possible for Allah? Nothing. The proof is Allah starts to send me unpredictable helping hands, good hearts, and bless, yes bless... Alhamdulillah... and guidance... I really need the guidance.

"Oh Allah! I seek Your guidance by virtue of Your knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You of Your great bounty. You have power; I have none. And You know; I know not. You are the Knower of hidden things..."

Wish me luck and pray for me... :)

March 13, 2014

What Goes Around Comes Back Around ~

Satu hal yang saya sangat yakini dalam hidup adalah tidak pernah ada yang namanya sia-sia. Ada suatu fase dimana saya benci banget sama keadaan atau penugasan waktu di kantor, tapi ternyata penugasan-penugasan itu jadi modal yang berharga banget buat saya waktu lanjut kuliah DIV. Apa yang saya jalani hari ini pasti akan membantu saya buat mencapai tujuan di masa depan juga. Who knows? Pengalaman apapun yang kita dapat di masa lalu nggak bisa dibeli lho, dan itu yang membuat kita lebih kaya dan lebih siap dari yang lain.

Sometimes we need to thank for the 'past' us for being brave that day. Thank you :)

Abah saya juga selalu mengajarkan bahwa kerja keras itu bikin kita bermartabat. Nggak apa-apa lebih capek atau lebih berjuang sekarang, karena Allah Maha Penyayang. Yang mau menyakiti dirinya sendiri dengan korupsi, mau enaknya aja, atau berbuat curang, ingat saja bahwa kebahagiaan itu nggak akan lama karena what goes around comes back around, right?

March 9, 2014

Welcome New Fighter!

Today I have mixed feelings.

I went to Depok on the early Sunday morning, wore my favorite dress, and caught the commuter. There would be family gathering held in my aunt's house, and it had been quite long that I didn't meet family. Sometimes I was not confident enough to be there but I should help my aunt and see my grandmother. I told some stories, but not complete ones, sadly. But I thought they were still not ready to push 'OK button' for me to walk upon my choice. It was fine, because helping her, enjoying good food, and looking her smile in her exhausted face made me feel blessed.
It was 4.30 pm. I was in a rush to arrive in Palmerah as soon as possible. I stood in commuter and sent some messages to my best friend. She was in Tapaktuan, Aceh. I missed her and I really needed a figure like her to make me calm and understand me. She told me her experience and asked me to stay surrender to Allah. I realized that I had to increase my worship, multiply the alms, and my Dhuha prayers. Maybe I was far from Allah, and I had to trust that Allah loved me. Allah knew the best. I felt better and tried to hide my tears in front of people.

I got there at almost 6, and my boyfriend had waited for 2 hours. I felt guilty, but he was fine. We did Magrib prayers in TVRI mosque, parked the motorcycle, and walked to JCC, Senayan. There were a lot of teenagers with orange costume gather to support their team. We kept walking and he held my hand all night. Then I felt safe.

We entered to Mega Bazaar Consumer Show 2014 to get notebook for me. It was the last night so it was quite crowded. He chose patiently and I just could stare to them because I didn't understand much about gadget. After looking around and thinking for twice and thrice, I made my choice. It was difficult because I didn't have plan to buy one on that month for saving. But I really needed it. I borrowed his for my study for 6 months. Sorry.

So, the new fighter already came to mama to replace my Prince William. It was like self-investment and dream came true because it was my dreaming notebook that I gifted to myself. I loved the size, I loved the weight, I loved the specification. Thank Allah :') I promised to learn diligently.

It was 10 pm. The front door of TVRI building had closed. We were confused how to take the motorcycle parked there. Fortunately, the side door still opened and the guards were so nice. The road was still long to reach Bintaro. My legs were painful but I knew he was more tired than me.

And trust me, every Saturday would be so long afterwards...


Now, I just can't sleep. I am excited but my mind is still wandering around. I keep thinking about every possibility coming, and asking for God's hug to give me strength. Poor me, my eyes swollen in the morning.

"... faidza 'azamta fatawakkal 'alallah, innallaha yuhibbul mutawakkilin (QS. 3:159) - Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah, certainly, Allah loves those who put their trust.


And for anything will happen... hello again new fighter laying on the desk! Please cooperate and back up me for days ahead, yes :)