November 23, 2013

Cat in The Rain

"Anyway, I want a cat", she said. "I want a cat. I want a cat now. If i can't have long hair or any fun, I still have a cat"

-a line from short story Cat in The Rain by Ernest Hemingway. This story symbolized a lot of things like loneliness, ignorance, ego, and rigid married life. 

And sometimes what women need is as simple as what she said.

November 22, 2013

Senja, dan yang Berlabuh

Seorang gadis kecil berkepang dua masih termenung menatap senja di pelabuhan. Kapal yang membawa ibunya menjelma titik, kecil semakin kecil lalu hilang. Sekejap lalu dia masih mengecup tangan sang ibu, dan menuruti pesan agar tak menangis.

"Ibu pergi hanya untuk dua minggu. Ibu pun rindu dengan Ibu"

"Ibu tidak rindu denganku?"

"Ibu merindukanmu dan mendoakanmu di setiap detak jantung dan deru napas ibu. Jadi anak yang mandiri ya. Jangan repotkan ayah selalu"

Tepat lima hari setelah ibu pergi. Gadis itu sudah rindu. Rindu seluruh yang dipunyai ibu. Rindu tangan ibu yang senantiasa menyisir rambutnya dan menepuk-nepuk pahanya saat akan tertidur.

"Ibu lihatlah aku bisa sisir rambut sendiri...", gumamnya sambil terisak pelan.


Seorang ibu berkerudung jingga masih termenung menatap senja di bandara. Pesawat yang membawa gadisnya menjelma titik, kecil semakin kecil lalu hilang. Sekejap lalu gadis itu masih mengecup tangannya, dan menuruti pesannya agar tak menangis.

"Baik-baik ya disana anakku"

"Doakan aku ibu"

"Ibu mendoakanmu di setiap detak jantung dan deru napas ibu. Jadi anak yang berhasil ya. Makan teratur dan jangan bersedih selalu"

Tepat lima hari setelah gadisnya pergi. Dia menatap foto-foto di dinding ruang tamu.

"Waktu cepat sekali berlalu. Aku rindu menyisir rambutmu itu...", gumamnya sambil terisak pelan.

-November 10. Happy birthday, Mama.

November 21, 2013

I Love My Cornea

I've been a user and fan of softlenses since six years ago. They really help me to replace my glasses and fix my sight. Yes, precisely, to fix my confidence. I know wearing them everyday is not good, but i still ignore the advice.

Let me give some conditions, when i was in office or in class and the air conditioner was so cold - it could make the eyes dry and the lens covered the cornea from getting enough oxygen, or when the heat of sun attacked - it could melt the lens and hurt the eyes. Another one, when i was in public transportation or motorcycle, then dust, polluted air came by - my eyes  weren't protected well and the lens made the situation worse.

Though the discomfort often happened, but i still didn't stop. The maximum usage for a day was 8 hours, but i extended it until more than 12 hours and the worst part, yes... i fell asleep. I still wore them when i slept. What a big mistake! This careless habit often happened unpurposely :( Sometimes when i woke up the eyes were red and itchy, because the lenses scratched the eyes when i slept. I still didn't care because in the morning they used to be good soon.

Until in one morning, here came a moment, i got trouble in my eyes. I fell asleep again when i wore lens, aaaand the eyes were red like getting punched, i couldn't see the light, they always made tears when i tried to look to the front. I also got flu. I knew something wrong, and i should go to doctor :(

First, let me tell you why i hate glasses. I wore glasses when i was seven years old. I needed minus two lenses. It really made me shocked. My friends and my cousins often bullied me and called me old. I was embarassed and didn't want to wear them outside the house. I grew up and when i was ten, it was worse, minus two increased to be five. So the feeling of being bullied continued until senior high school. Nobody actually really wanted to like me because i was nerd and ugly.

Okay, back to the present. Yesterday, i went to doctor in sector 4 Bintaro. My boyfriend picked me up and he was mad because i ignored the advice and hurt myself :( Doctor said my corneas were injured, and i should stop wearing lens for a while, not extend it more than 8 hours, and always washed my hands if i needed to touch the lens. She gave me Floxa Ofloxacin and Cenfresh, the liquid medicine used to fix ans rebuild the cornea by dropping them to eyes regularly. She also gave me vitamin to help the impuls of sight system. I used to be dizzy sometimes :/

So, this post is a therapy. I am an adult and i promise to myself to keep my sight properly. One of the greatest gifts Allah gives to me :(

I love my glasses. I really love myself wearing those glasses ♡

So, readers, please love your body, love yourself. You will not get the second chance to turn back time when you lose it. And, remember this: the person who really loves you will always love you just the way you are :)

"Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent" - Eleanor Roosevelt.

November 20, 2013

Don't Beg for Understanding

"There came peak moments. I was pregnant and I still had to do my tasks until midnight. I knew it was hard. But it was my choice to have that job. Here is the thing that you should know to be a woman. Being a woman must be tough, and our responsibility is doubled from men's. Because i am woman and i am pregnant, it doesn't mean i should beg for understanding from others. Don't beg for understanding. I am the only one who must understand how to adjust myself. Because everything is my choice"

-a beautiful point from my lecturer, Mrs. Aisyah. Yes, don't blame people for the things that we are commited to choose right? :)

November 18, 2013

A Long Road

"Yeaaah! It's been three years!"

"Wow, it's quite long like taking credit payment of motorcycle"

"What? Oh well..."

"I am afraid to lose you. I promise we will make it through soon"

-I am afraid to lose you too. You've been my happiness and home. Can't wait for another path. Bless us, Allah.

November 11, 2013

Movember ~

Hiatus attacked! It's quite long that i didn't write. Assignments flooded but i think it should not be excuse :(

So what happens these days? November is comiiing. It feels this is the month that i actually move. My spirit comes back. I always realize that i'm a person who's quite difficult to accept things. But when time goes on, i know these are what i should be and what i should do. I think it is the beauty of being adult, we learn to be responsible to consequences that we are commited to.

Aaaand.... i'm also getting older! Time flies and i even don't realize it's my chance to be 24. It's Nov 7 and I'm officially 24! Alhamdulillah. I'm very grateful with the opportunities and love Allah gives to me. My dad waited not to sleep until 12 pm to send me wishful message for his daughter. I cried because dad was the first person who sent me prayers that day :') Then in the dawn my dormmate Ai and Mbak Elle knocked the door and surprised me with birthday cake. Sweet. My friend, ummi who stayed for two nights in my room to follow Advanced Diploma test in STAN joined to treat surprise. Yes i did miss my girlfriends.

My boyfriend came in the morning and picked me up thought i hadn't taken a bath :( we had porridge chicken for breakfast and he gave me a gift. I was so happy to see his face in that morning and his willingness to give me his time :'). My brother and my mom also called me, i loved their prayers. They made me wanna go home soon.

Totally, i got four cakes that day. From my doormate, from my friends of another class, from STAN English Club, and from ummi, she gave me a cute winnie the pooh cake. My best friend Osel sent me a cute t-shirt from Medan. Thank you for all of your prayers. May Allah bless you. Thank you :')

What is another move? I learn to be extroverted introvert. It's nice to meet a lot of people. I dare to do what i think i can't. I learned to coach my juniors. And i joined another voluntary committee in Reuni Akbar STAN when my friends asked me to help to be an additional MC in the last minutes. Thought i just spoke some short sentences in the opening but i was very satisfied that i could do it.

Happy movember all!