December 31, 2012

Thank You, December. Thank You Allah :)

Though Allah always gives huge bless and bliss in everyday, but there are things that keep being reminded on top. Things that make life more meaningful and special. Things to prove that I am stronger that I used to think about.

I met a lot of awesome people and experience in December. I got chance to follow test, best friend came to Jakarta, hectic days waiting in rush, heavy rain, and every lessons learned that taught me to be more grateful. Sometimes it felt sad when you were cheated or back-stabbed. But what I'm really sure is happiness that comes in easy way by hurting people will hurt you back. So, don't be that way :)

And surely, many amazing people were born in this month, one of them is my boyfriend! It was December 24 - most employees were free that day, including me - but he was still on duty. I made a simple surprise and came to his office in Serpong in the afternoon. I asked him to go out because I was too shy to be there around and he was the master of making me cry! So happy to come in this unpredictable moment and to see him on uniform yeaaah. Though I had to steal his time for an hour (sorry for his boss :p) but... definitely - I was soooo happy!

Next, my young brother came to Jakarta! It was his first flight without being accompanied. He was 14 and he was great. I missed him so much and had waited this moment for months. I took three days of leaves (thank youuu office!) because he was in Jakarta for five days since 26-30. I asked him to go around - just two of us - from enjoying Ragusa ice creams, visiting Kota Tua, eating good foods, staying in aunt's in Depok, swimming in Ocean Park, and having a-day-trip to Bandung - just two of us! Such an impulsive trip and I didn't get lost that day. What an achievement for me! :')

My tears dropped a lot these days without any reasons. When I saw my brother's face, I saw heaven in his face. Been so tired but his saying thank you, his blushing face, his appetite, his hugs - made the tiredness lose and I cried at once. Thanks for being a very good baby boy, dear :')

Take care mom and dad. We'll meet again soon. I love you so much, adek :*

Oh anyway, just remember this. Jobs and duties often selfishly steal the family time, so spend the time with them as long as you still can do it. And I always believe, you will never be a great person and it's totally useless when you just care about something big, huge number of people but be insensitive and ignore people who are around and close to you. Never :)

December 17, 2012

Best Daddy Ever

There were notifications on screen: 12 missed calls. And they came from three different numbers from one same person. Daddy.

My bad. I kept my mobile phone being silent and didn't check it for hours. And my blackberry was off because of the super-jet-empty battery. I hate it.

My daddy thought something wrong happened to me. His imagination that I was being robbed or hurt made him sick. He was afraid. He tried to call my aunts - and if it didn't work he would ask my boyfriend to see what was going on to me. But they said i was okay. I should be somewhere doing something. Then he just sat down alone hugging pillow and silently cried.

I realized that I forgot something. I had not called them that day and there it was. Daddy was waiting my call. That's all what he needs. That's all what makes him happy.

I should have known that the older my parents, the more anxious they are. The more they are afraid to lose me.

I'm fine, Daddy. I promise I will. Don't worry too much, please. I love you.

*this experience brought me to buy power bank!*

What I Really Miss

I feel such an emotional tiredness these days. I don't enjoy my lecturing activity and being perfectionist sucks. Some kinds of loneliness haunt after the hectic days then I often cry until I sleep. The fact is person that I talk to most during the weekdays is someone across the cubicle, LOL. I used to think about taking care a pet like hamster or turtle to stay away from this being alone. But I realize that it's just a bad and impulsive idea. I can't imagine if it dies because I forget to feed it. So I replace the idea with ordering star projection lamp. It works! Watching ceiling and walls which full of stars really make me smile. Happiness is as simple as that way.

I miss having friends with the same point of view, to share dreams, ideas, and not too much complain about life. So, here she comes. December is quite good that it gives me a lot of unpredictable presents. My best friend Oselva got assignment in Jakarta and she picked me up in my office on Friday night. Then we had dinner and pretty long chitchat. She stayed in my dorm for two nights.

I had to go to campus on Saturday from 7 a.m. to 4 p.m. The traffic was quite good. But the class sometimes made me upset. We talked about business ethics and what always be heard was bad image of my professions. And they laugh of it. Oh please, I love my job. Sometimes I make reminder with wise words to enlarge my own heart, "Just be careful with two types of people who like giving negative comments: some don't know the truth and some just envy. Such a hypocrite". I believe serious effort of yours will never cheat yourself.

After campus thingy, Osel asked me to accompany her to meet a friend in Sarinah. We ate some pizza then watched The Hobbit. I was so sleepy and I closed my eyes sometimes in the beginning of the movie. But I didn't want to skip this amazing-three-hours movie so I tried to hold on. I miss having me time like this.

sleepy face :D

She went back to Medan on Sunday morning. I always hate to say any goodbye. For me, she is an inspiration, full of energy, a loving sister and daughter who fights for her family and we are sample of friendship in diversity. We are different in culture and religion, but we appreciate each other and we don't make it as a big deal. She reminds me to do prayer on time and to be patient. To be strong. I am very grateful.

There are another things that I really miss. I miss talking to Allah in the late night. I miss writing though year-end pushes me with overloaded reports to write. I miss baking cake. I miss teaching children. I miss watching TV series on bed. I miss being sweet. I miss reading books so I borrow two books this week: Steve jobs, Stay Hungry Stay Foolish and 'Biografi Angka Nol' written by Charles Seife. I am always curious with the mystery of math or numbers like that.

I miss him.

And I miss home.

December 11, 2012

Grateful! Happy, happier!

So, it is my quote of December.

Sometimes life doesn't run as expected, like having to do the things that we hate enormously or dealing with person that makes me want to eat zombies. Yeah, there's nothing better to save the day than embracing your own life. And I'll learn to make myself happy either by forgetting it for a while, laughing, or forcing myself to accomplish it soon then let me be free sooner.

I am inspired by Diana Rikasari to remember every little thing that makes her happy and write it in a note in the end of the day. So what can make myself happy? Eat! I love eating good food, delicious and nice ones. (It is one of the joys of having a job, isn't it? You can buy something that you like?) And I love chocolate. I love to dance around my room in the early morning. I love listening and mumbling along my favorite songs. I love wearing cute things and decorating my room. I love sending sweet messages to boyfriend during peak hours. And I stop having any kind of that nonsense diet. It works. I'm happy and I feel really good :)

It can't be denied that the older you are, the less friends that you have. I miss having good friends to talk and to have a walk together. But I realize that life changes. People grow up. They get married one by one and have new life to build, and it's not a really wise idea to share any silly chitchat that we used to do. I try to be careful of doing some kinds of sharing. But I'm not alone. We are not that alone. We just learn to depend to ourselves. Yes, we should.

I always have Allah. Allah is very kind. And also a very good listener. I feel like being rained by a lot of blessings these days. Then, I have curious mom that regularly wonders with my condition. And I still have him that really understands and successfully makes me feel good. Thank You Allah. So many things I should be more grateful of.

So, celebrate life. Be happy and happier! Because, there's nothing better to save the day than embracing our own life.